


Our ways to be /AU/

by guidelarryhome



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 14:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7717645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guidelarryhome/pseuds/guidelarryhome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"But Louis our ways to be are so different, we would never work out"</p><p>"Then why don't we make it?"</p><p> </p><p>Or where Louis meets a pretty boy and starts to chase him for a chance to know his name, begging for him to acknowledge him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. They meet

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I've ever written and I'm not really good at this, but I had this idea and said, why not give it a try, plus English is not my first language so please if you see any misspelling or any grammar mistake, please let me know so I can fix them. chapters are supposed to be short.

I was so done, I hated everything around me, I had no where to go and I remembered when mum used to take us to a small park near our home, it was lonely but it was great to have a good time, alone. I walked, slowly trying to get the branches of the trees out of my sight so I could look for the park that was situated within the forest that was in the town limits. It was nighttime, between 2 or 4 am, the last time I checked the hour, it was on my mobile phone but I had left it at home, it said it was 1:37 am, but a long time had happened since then, and by looking at the sky i knew it waspretty late since you could barely see anything at all. 

 

 

I found the lonely park and as I thought, it was empty, not one soul was in there, and that somehow make me feel good, safe. 

I let out a breath of relief, now no one would hear me complain about the shit of life I have. 

 

I sat on a dusty bench with a metal plaque on it, I sat there for a while, my hands fisted together, and my head between the space of my hands and my chest. I felt okay for once, I was relaxed and not tense, something I hadn't been in a long time. I was still sitting down on the wooden bench when I heard noises coming from behind and I shot my head up, it was dark so I couldn't see at all, but I saw a tall, lean body getting closer, but somehow I was not nervous, instead I was excited to see what or who it was, because, who would be up this late, or who would come to a place like this at this moment? _You idiot!,_ my mind whispered. The person came closer and I could finally see who it was, it was a tall boy, chocolate curls and piercing green eyes, who shined in a dreamy way due to being exposed in the moonlight, he sat next to me and looked at his lap, I was staring at him suspiciously, what did he want? 

 

He looked up, and I got to see his verdant orbs closely.

 

"What are you doing here?" He asked 

"It's a public park as you can see, everyone can be here if they please" I sassed 

 

"That's not what I meant" he said apologetically , looking down again "i-it's 2 am you know that? I was just wondering what where you doing here so late" 

 

"Oh...that" "yes" 

 

"Can't tell" I muttered under my breath, but he heard as he answer 

"Okay then" he answer rather irritated

 

He stood up and started to walk, and my eyes widened, was he leaving so soon? 

 

"Are you leaving already?" I yelled so he could listen 

 

"Seems like I'm just a burden for you, but still I have to get going, gotta work pretty damn early in the morning" the noise of the leaves crunching vanishes. 

 

"Wait" I called after him " can I get a name at least?!" But nothing happened, no voice, no sound. And I'm left there just like how I arrived. Alone. 

 

 


	2. He chases

Days passed and I went to the park everyday, same time, 2 am. I always sat on the same bench everytime I went, the dusty wooden bench with the plaque, I had got used to it, I used to stare blankly at the mass of trees, as if something or _someone_ more like, would come out of them, like if the lanky, green-eyed boy would come back, but nothing happened, he was no where to be seen, he didn't show up once and that I was growing tired of it would be an understanding, I always went there and stayed for hours, sat in the bench with the plaque. But there was no sight of the tall boy with the chocolate brown curls. And that was frustrating me, he had to be somewhere, but as my luck was not to get better anytime I had no idea of where, I had no name to look for, nor address, and I knew I wasn't going to find him by his looks, there could be thousand of boys that looked like him! 

 

Today was Wednesday, exactly one week had passed, and I kept going, I was not going to give up now, I couldn't. I had to find him, somehow I needed to know something of him, his name, whatever, I needed a clue and I had decided on going today, _maybe he goes today_ , I thought hopefully, to say all my hope had been lost was an understanding beacuse who wouldn't lose hope after going for a whole week to a place looking for an stranger you had never seen before? most people would, but I wasn't like most people, so I wouldn't. And if I had no luck, I'd keep going, until I found him and had a name, I'd let myself stop the chasing. But until then, I had to keep searching the curly lad who somehow had captivated me. 

 

I changed my clothes, and decided to dress all black, that way I would camouflage in the darkness, _how stupider could you get?_ , my mind said mocking at me. If I was the reason he wasn't going then he wouldn't see me. 

I left my room with a last glance at the mirror, I headed downstairs and opened the front door sneakily, it wasn't like if somone would catch me, the house was mostly alone, the only person you'd get ahold of sometimes was the maid, Margaret, she was a good woman, she was in her early forties, she had worked here since Agnes was born and had been more of a maternal figure than mum had ever been, I looked outside and saw a small figure curled up on the bench that was outside, in the porch. 

 

Small and quiet sobs and sniffles were heard from where I was standing, 

 

I got closer and recognised that dark soft hair, and that pale fair skin, that resembled my mothers, it was Agnes. 

 

"What's wrong nessie?" I asked in a smooth tone, not wanting to scare her. She quickly looked up and noticed me looking at her worriedly, she threw herself in my arms and I stumbled to keep myself in place. 

 

"I-I do n-not want t-to go to school" she stuttered out. The sight was heartbreaking, I had never liked watching Agnes cry because it physically hurt me, we hadn't been the best of siblings since mum died, which was 5 months ago, but I loved her to pieces, I'd even die for her if it was needed. She was 14 years old, and soon to be 15, she was kind of my half sister, we didn't have the same father but it never seemed to be a problem to us, we still loved each other. 

 

"Why not?" I rubbed her back slowly, trying to calm her down. 

 

"Tom-morrow" she breathes out between sobs, she placed her small head in the crook of my neck, wetting the delicate fabric of my shirt. 

 

"Calm down, okay? What happens tomorrow princess?" I asked playing with her hair. 

 

"The monthly fair" she looks up from my chest, watery greyish blue eyes staring at mine "parents are supposed to go, and I have none, who am I-I going to take?" 

 

Realisation came over me, my little sister was crying because of the lack of parenting? 

 

"Oh, don't worry about it love, I can go with you , what about that? You like it?" I nodded, trying to cheer her up.

 

"Would you go with me?" Excitement clear in her voice, and sparkling eyes filled with illusion  

 

"Of course I would!" I tried smiling at her, which only ended in a fake smile, and I prayed she wouldn't notice. 

 

"Thank you Lou" She said shyly, and smiled at me sincerely "where were you going by the way? I've seen you going out at the same hour everyday" 

 

"You know what?" I thought about telling her the truth, but I didn't want her to see me as a stalker  "No where" I lied.

 


	3. They say hi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was writing this and accidentally closed the link so it deleted. fml. I tried my best to rewrite it

I didn't want to go to that monthly fair, I neved like them, I remember my days as a kid and they were not the best ones, going to that fairs meant going alone since mum was never home, and it meant going and seeing all my classmates with their parents laughing and having the time of their lifes, leaving me alone with my loneliness, I always used to stare at them sadly as i felt the tears swell in my eyes, she was always either working or partying, a thing I never liked of her, she never gave her family enough attention. There was no point in doing so since my aunts, my mums sisters, Aunt Isobel and Rose, were such gold diggers and always used to go men hunting, that's how they used to call it, actually. They were always trying to get rich men that would pay for everything they wanted and wished. Bad luck it never happened, they both got pregnant and had no where to go, and since mum had a big inheritance that dad had left her she took them in. I never liked them, they always tried to be something they weren't, but whatever, it's not like none of that matter. 

 

I was going to accompany Agnes, much to my dismay, we decided on going separately since she was probably going to stay there and I would probably go back home once it was finished. I put on something simple, I was not trying to impress someone, and even if I was, there was no need of dressing up, mum always said they'd like you for how you were, not for your looks or who you were, she was widow and had got a big inheritance, so yeah it didn't matter how she was either, whatever there was no point on overdressing, so I wouldn't. I arrived and looked for Alessia, _she might be somewhere with her friend_ s, I thought. 

 

I spent most of the time with Agnes, we talked and laughed, we also got something to eat and we actually had a great time, something we hadn'd had in a long time, I even chatted with some of Agne's friend's parents and a few boys as well, but none of them called my attention, which was weird since all of them were extremely hot and flirty, _wait what? I thought a boy was hot? I hadn't, had I? What is going on?_ I thought, but my mind was too caught up on something else, I had no idea of what but was determined to find out later. There were games and food stalls everywhere, parents chatting and laughing, kids running from one place to another, I wanted to escape, I was feeling suffocated by now and needed to go out and take some breath, so I decided on leaving, I walked sneakily to the door, but stopped when I felt a weight had crashed into me. I looked up to the person and my eyes widened at the sight of the boy I had looked for for days. 

 

"Oops" I muttered sheepishly looking down at my feet whom seemed, but weren't, more important than the sight in front of me.

 

"Hi, lonely boy" his lip lifted up in a smirk 

 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked feeling rather uncomfortable

"Why? Are you kicking me out me already? He said pretending to be offended 

 

"W-what? Oh, no, no i-it's just th-" 

 

"I work here" he said curtly 

"You what?" I gasped, it was not bad, but I wasn't expecting that at all. He didn't seem the kind of being around children all day 

 

"I. Work. Here." 

"OK, no need to spell it, I'm not that stupid, you know" I rolled my eyes 

 

"Don't ask then" he groaned

 

"End it! I just wanted to know your name, jeez" I was starting to feel offended by his ways of being towards me, and seeing how fustrated I was just a few minutes ago I wouldn't tolerate him any longer if he kept behaving like that 

 

"I baked cookies for the fair...hmm, I also teach music here, I'm Harry, what about you?" he said in a low, raspy voice, looking anywhere but me. 

 

"I'm Louis, Louis Tomlinson" I spoke in my high-pitched voice, smiling shyly at the ground.

 

"So, Harry the baker, want to help me escape?" I looked around looking for Agnes, I knew that if she saw me, she'd drag me back to her and that was something I couldn't bear any longer.

 

"Escape from what?" He laughed, he did seem to be a good lad but I think we had started with the wrong foot." and wait, who is Agnes?"

 

"My lil sis, she's out there looking for me to drag me to that hell they call fair" he giggled. He fucking giggled. And I scrunched my face at his adorableness. I surely wasn't expecting a giggle from a man that looked as manly as him.

 

"I know a café a few blocks from here, wanna go?" He seemed suddenly nervous, shuffling awkwardly, biting his bottom lip, to the point where I thought it could start bleeding in any moment. 

 

"Sure" I said staring at him suspiciously when his head snapped up with a dreamy smile that showed a pair of dimbles, which I had to put all in me not to poke them. 

 

"Ouch!" I took my hand back "why'd you that?" I rubbed my hand on the red spot 

 

"You poked my cheek" he rolled his eyes 

 

"Geez, calm down, they just look so pokeable" 

 

"That's not even a word, but whatever, lets go" we walked outside and hopped into my car and made our way to the cafe as Harry was telling me where I had to go. 

 

We arrived to the placem which was more like a bistro, we sat in a table outside since the waether was rather good, it was cool and a fair breeze was brushing our hair lightly, we each ordered a coffee with a slice of chocolate cake. We ate and talked about random things, laughing and joking, these days I had been having dort of fun and it was something that rarely used to happen, the sky has started to dark and I knew it was probably 8 o' clock or so since we've been here for a long time already, but whith him it felt like minutes instead of hours. 

 

"So what was this?" His eyes glinted because of the lights of the streets around. But I could see something else, though I was not sure. 

 

"What this?" I frowned, what did he mean by 'this'? 

 

"This" he motioned to the both of us

 

"Well, we're friends right?" I laughed and he kept a solemn expression on his face. 

 

"So this wasn't a date right?" His voice was a monotone tone. He lowed his head, looking at his lap. WAIT, A DATE HE SAID? I had never had one, me being 19 years old had never had a date and this cute, giggly boy had just said we had had a date when I hadn't felt like it?

 

"Well, I don't know what you wanted it to be, like, I'm not that you know..hm, so of course it wasn't a date for me bu-" 

 

He stood up swiftly, the chair almost falling backwards. 

 

"Wait, where are you going?, it can be a date, if you want to" I muttered sensing all the attention on us, trying to make people look at their own fucking things and take their eyes off us. I was never the kind of liking the attention being on me, I hated it, actually. 

 

"Take your fucking date wherever it fits, 'cause I don't want it" he yelled, dragging even more curious eyes to us. 

 

I was going to run after him but when I turned myself to the streets, there was nothing of the curly boy that had been sitting at the other side of the table just a few minutes ago. 

 


	4. He cries

I hopped into my car desperately and started to wander around the city looking for Harry, I had no idea where he could be at the moment, I mean, I did not know him so he could be everywhere, but it was not as if I could concentrate either. He wanted it to be a date? Why would he? Not to stereotype but he sure as hell did not look gay, he looked so manly in that tight black skinny jeans he always wore, with his small but fine ass, and his thighs, Oh God his thighs!.. that just make me think about me between them, sucking on the pale and delicate skin and... Wait! No! I should not be thinking about this right now. Right now? Never! Yeah, that was better. 

 

 

 

I was so confused as to why he had said that? My stomach was filled with a mix of excitement, confusion, and happiness. I thought I was getting crazy with every minute that passed by and I still could not find him. A lot of things were going through my mind but my biggest doubt was, why would he saying he wanted it to be a date made me happy? It was senseless, irrational, I was feeling dizzy, my mind was whirling and I was starting to feel the vomit coming up to my throat, and I had to stop thinking about it or else I would end up in a mess of emotions and viscous liquids. 

 

I went to the park I first saw him, that park that change everything, the place I found the pretty green-eyed boy whom I had chased for, _exactly,_ one week, the boy that was starting to mess with my mind and maybe, just maybe I did _not_ mind at all. I was feeling so lonely and worthless that day and just talking to him made a smile crept onto my face. 

 

I stared at _our_ bench, the dusty, and probably old bench with the plaque. I stayed there for a long time, sat on the dusty, old wooden bench with the plaque, playing with my fingers, looking at the tall pine trees surrounding me, kicking dirt with my shoes and thinking where he could've gone, _home maybe?,_ I thought, the thought of going there and talking to him more pacifically, or just go and stare at his piercing green eyes crossed my mind once, _maybe more than once_ , twice maybe, who am I kidding?! that's all I can think about right now but I have no idea of where he lives, why did the thought of asking him where he lived never seemed something good to say? we talked but we never got that deep in details. 

 

I walked around the city, the empty streets seemed even more scary due to the darkness of the sky, I was suddenly standing in the gates of the cemetery, I don't know how I got here but I couldn't think too much about it, maybe it was just a coincidence.  _A coincidence._

 

I hadn't been there in a while, since mums funeral to be precise, almost 9 months had gone by and I still couldn't step in there, it hurt so much, I missed her so much. I was deciding on going back but the sound of sobs and hiccups caught my attention, I felt I knew the person, though I had no idea of who could it be. 

 

"But, you" he stopped and sniffled "you know, I-I" hiccup "Just don-n't" hiccup "know what to do" more sobs.

 

That deep voice, I recognised it, I wanted to look at that but what if they saw me? 

 

I took the risk of being seeing and dared to look up, but the sight I had was totally heartbreaking. 

 

I sure as hell knew who it was. 

 

I had been looking for him like mad. 

 

It was him. Harry. 

 

Harry was crying uncontrollably, his eyes rimmed and puffy, his cheeks stained with dried tears, and there were still more falling, his lips red and swollen, as if he had been biting on them furiously, he rubbed his nose with the sleeves of his sweater, the one I hadn't realised he was wearing until now, it was a pale blue knitted sweater, and somehow it looked wonderful, and adorable, on his snow-like skin. 

 

"I though-t that he, you k-know, he, liked me" he hiccuped, he was crying so hard I thought he would be left with no tears when he finished. 

 

The sight was heartbreaking, and somehow I felt something at the tip of my stomach, guiltiness, but why me? He said 'he' did not like him, but was he talking about me? I do not think so, it could not have been be me, could it? 

 

I could not go there so I stayed there where I was , crying silently, tears shedding from my eyes, little and inaudible whimpers coming out of my mouth once in awhile. 

 

We both cried that night, he for a love that was not corresponded and me for the heartbreak of the pretty green-eyed boy I had grown to like. But I did not like him, did I? 

 


End file.
